Ichiban Eggplant Ambrosia

Last year I grew the Ichiban Eggplant and discovered a velvety, creamy, vanilla flavor when I roasted the fruit. This year, I put in another and we’re reaping the benefits tonight. So this:

Became this:

Which I cooked at 400 degrees F until nicely roasted. Then BabyDaddy scraped out the flesh (while I heated the pita. I’m a poet and I didn’t know it!)

Then I mixed the flesh in the blender with:

lemon juice

1 garlic clove

salt

olive oil

cumin

smoked paprika (optional but AWESOME)

tahini

And you have Baba Ganoush.

Wall*E – A Collective Recipe Family OMG!

So Very Good.

(Let me know how much you love the short before the movie. All of the Recipes were in stitches.)

This is a beautiful, wonderful, very good movie. See it thrice.

Smoked Paprika – Help me now (2 for 1)

I’m so in love with this. It’s expensive and goes bad quickly and it’s yummy and makes hummus into a sexy food again. I made hummus from scratch (because MamaSketchy is on an enforced vacation and feels the need to cook away her blues) today and I tried it with just cumin and just smoked paprika. The paprika kicked the cumin’s bootay. Here’s the hookup:

Hummus Among Us (The Hard Way)

1 bag of dried chickpeas

water

1/2 tsp baking soda

the time alloted to the unemployed

juice of 2 lemons

tahini

garlic clove

olive oil

ground cumin or smoked paprika

salt

Soak the chickpeas overnight. Drain, cover chickpeas with water by one inch, and cook with baking soda over medium heat for 1-2 hours, or until soft (adding water if necessary). Drain and let cool. Haul out your blender or food processor. Put half the lemon juice and one whole garlic clove in machine with a tsp of salt. Puree. Add a reasonable amount of chickpeas, oil, tahini, and cumin or smoked paprika. Add water if you’re blending. Puree until smooth. Correct seasonings. Store in the fridge for 3-4 days, if you’re lucky!

You’ve made a half batch. Repeat process from lemon juice or make channa masala with the leftover chickpeas.

EZ Chana Masala

1 tbs oil or ghee

1 tbs garam masala or curry powder

1 can diced tomatoes

leftover cooked chickpeas

salt & pepper to taste

Heat oil over medium in a large skillet. Add garam masala or curry powder and cook in hot oil for 30 seconds. Add chickpeas and toss to coat. Add tomatoes and lower to a simmer. Simmer for ten minutes. Serve over rice with yogurt and Major Grey’s mango chutney.

Tragic and Bizarre Events in My Microwave

*A Cautionary Tale*

First the bizarre! I bought 62 food items from my grocer, including produce, dairy, & meat, and the total was $134.00. TRUST ME, that has never, ever, ever happened in the Recipe house. That is about one hippie/canvas/reusable bag for us. We can economize!

Now the tragic. The SR method of potato bakery involves a spud, a cotton towel, and a microwave. Then you wrap the hot tater in foil and let it percolate for about 15 minutes.

Had I known that this towel had a martyr complex,

or wanted to make a statement about the environmental effects of casual microwave use,

I would have listened and kept it in general dish drying rotation. But NOOOOOOO. It had to catch on fire, causing me to throw it out the back door, panic, and douse it with a carafe of water.

What The Hell? – I don’t mind telling you that I have had to have an extra glass of box wine to get through this. And I’m not the only one who is traumatized.

“The Right Tea for Iced Tea”

Anyone remember that commercial? Anyone besides me? (By the way, I’ve had to edit this post about 10 times. I hope like hell that you all like Iced Tea.)

In any case, I found myself leafing through my trusty loose leaf notebook yesterday, searching diligently for my old Cook’s Illustrated iced tea recipe. It was nowhere to be found and for 1 minute I thought I might have break down and get one of those free trials for their website. Then I’d never cancel and I’d end up paying for it for the rest of my life (Hi Netflix, you wily bastards. No late fees my heiner.) LUCKILY, I managed to find my favorite iced tea recipe in the free section of the site. I will now share the SR tips and tricks to the basic recipe.

Cook’s Illustrated Iced Tea a la Sketchy

5 bags Luzianne, strings tied to a bamboo skewer

1 quart water

6 tbs sugar (optional)

ice and more water

Put the tea bags and water in a cold pan. Start a timer for 10 minutes. Turn heat to medium low. When the timer goes off, the water should be dark and steamy with tiny bubbles. Take pan off of the heat. Mix sugar and and about one cup of water in a pitcher. Mix until sugar dissolves. Remove bags from tea. Stir hot tea from pan into sugar water. Add ice and water to preferred octane level.

Do this every day for all 8 months of Summer.

BabyDaddy Delight

When I was first “dating” BabyDaddy, I used my cooking wiles to try to snag this Green Mohawked Adonis. One of my tricks was cooking delicious dinners for him to enjoy, and then “accidentally” belch softly in my ear while he simultaneously whispered sweet somethings. Obviously, my cooking and his Mad Wooing skillz have managed to keep us happily hitched for 15 years. I will now give you the sauce recipe that is the rubber cement during our trying times.

**This dish is especially dedicated to my Culinary Hypnotherapist, Larry and to Uncle Billy. These are my bachelor playboys and they need recipes that can be easily made on their jets.**

LemonWineGarlicButterOil Sauce

1/2 stick salted butter

Garlic, as much as you like, chopped

1 tbs olive oil, flavored is even better (See the Cornbread post for ideas)

2 lemons, one juiced, one cut in half

1 glass boxed white wine, dry and citrusy (if you must, use a screw top bottle) NOT OPTIONAL

Salt, pepper, and crushed red pepper to taste

1 lb raw, peeled shrimp

or

1 lb raw scallops

or

1 lb tilapia, chopped

or

1 lb chopped raw chicken breast

Melt butter in a nice sized skillet over low heat. Add oil and garlic. Sweat for a few minutes. Add protein, lemon juice, wine, and a pinch of salt. Turn flame to medium. Partially cook protein and remove. Add black and crushed red pepper to taste. Reduce sauce to barely coat the back of a wooden spoon. Put protein back in skillet. Finish cooking. Squeeze half a lemon over sauce and protein and taste for seasonings.

With this mixture you can:

Add to cooked pasta with parmesan

Sop up with crusty bread

Blend with vodka and drink with straw

Serve on a pile of mesclun or arugula with tomatoes and fresh mozzerella

WIN YOUR MATE!!!!!

**Here is an approximate representation of Larry – Culinary Hypnotherapist to the Starz

Gin and Juice

I subscribe to Everyday Food. I love this little magazine. I give it as gifts and find at least one recipe in each issue to try. This time, it was something from their cocktail section. Now, for me, gin is a special liquid. I have only ever had it in countless frosty martinis or in bottomless double highballs with tonic. It is my favorite cocktail liquor. When I saw it paired with lemonade, I thought I would vomit. I was extremely hasty. I’ll admit that. You can’t have more than one of these beauties because they’re too damn sweet, but you will thoroughly enjoy your first.

Thyme Lemonade with Gin

1 part sugar

1 part water

1 bunch of fresh thyme

6 4 parts freshly squeezed lemon juice  (I got a little juice happy there!)

Make a simple syrup with sugar, water, and thyme. Add lemon juice to cooled syrup. Strain into a pitcher and add water and ice to taste. Pour a healthy amount of gin (not the good stuff, Beefeater is perfect) in a large glass and add lemonade & more ice. Squeeze some fresh lemon on top and serve.

This would also be nice with some club soda or seltzer in the glass.

Summer Activity Beans

Hey, I live on the Sun. It’s hot. It’s humid. The Recipe house is not well cooled and it was built before 1935. I don’t like using the oven for about 7 months out of the year.

BUT

I will make my baked beans. They’re the best that processed foods can give us. One day, the sky will blacken and we’ll all be choosing between red and blue pills, but for now, we have my Party Beans.

Party Beans

2 cans Bush’s Vegetarian Baked beans

1 BIG OLE can, Durkee’s (I don’t care IF they’re called French’s now) fried onions

mustard, to taste (I use Dijon because I’m snooty.)

Mrs. Butterworth’s – that’s right, Mrs. Like all good things, she’s taken, boys – to taste

Caveat: Do Not Use Good Maple Syrup. For some insane reason, Mrs. Butterworth’s works best in this.

Preheat oven to 350 F. Pour beans into rational size baking dish. Add mustard and syrup. Stir and taste. Correct terrifying seasonings. Add equally frightening fried onions to oniony saturation point. Bake until bubbly.

Try to hold back tears as people you have handmade puff pastry for ooh and aah over this pile of scrumptious chemicals.

Cornbread

Let’s all have a chat about cornbread, shall we? My peeps are from the Deep South. BabyDaddy’s folks come from the upper Delta. We eat some cornbread here. Fifi makes her version for her To-Die-For-Dressing. I make what is basically a tarted up version of the original, non-sweet, cornmeal ONLY accompaniment to all things bean in this house.

DO NOT ATTEMPT WITHOUT A 9 OR 10 INCH ROUND CAST IRON SKILLET

Cornbread Puttanesca

2 c yellow OR stone ground cornmeal, house brand is Fall’s Mill

2 tsp sugar

3/4 tsp coarse kosher salt, 1/2 tsp table salt

1 tsp baking soda

1 tsp baking powder

2 eggs, beaten

2 c buttermilk or 2 c non skim milk plus 2 tsp white vinegar or lemon juice

1 c corn kernals

1 c sharp cheddar or colby cheese, shredded (Please get pre-shredded. I won’t tell.)

Put a decent amount, 2-3 tbs, of cheap olive oil in your skillet. Put your skillet in the cold oven to heat. Preheat oven to 450 F. Mix together meal, sugar, salt, baking soda, and baking powder in a big bowl. In a smaller bowl, beat the eggs. Add the buttermilk and stir well. Add the corn and cheese. Mix wet with dry when oven temperature is reached. Take the batter to the oven, open the door, pull out the rack with the skillet, and pour the batter into the hot oil. Close the oven and don’t even peek for 15 minutes. Check every 5 minutes until the top of the bread is golden and set. Take the skillet out of the oven and let sit for 15 minutes. The bread is still cooking during this time. Slice and eat and eat and eat and eat.

To make this a High Class Call Girl:

Put one cup of olive oil in a pyrex glass measuring cup. Microwave on high for 30 seconds. Feel. Microwave for another 15-30 seconds or until the glass is hot to the touch. Add whole garlic cloves and/or any fresh herbs you have on hand at this time. Let the oil sit on the counter for at least two hours. Refrigerate and use for up to one month.

Use this oil for your cornbread. It’s subtle, but incredible. And always use protection. Especially with this recipe.

Ok, Ceviche.

I knew I could make this at home. I was afraid of killing us all, but I got over that hurdle with the help of my Culinary Hypnotherapist, Larry. Do not make this if you don’t have a good juicing apparatus. The Recipe’s just adore the Black & Decker Citrus Mate Plus . RockStar uses it every damn day.

Anyway!

Shrimp and Whitefish Ceviche

1 lb peeled raw shrimp

1 fillet tilapia or other white fish (NOT CATFISH!)

3 limes, juiced

1 lemon, juiced

1 onion, finely diced

1/2 c tomatoes, finely diced (I use grape or currant tomatoes)

1/2 c cilantro, chopped

salt to taste

Chop raw shrimp into bite size chunks. Do the same with the fish. Add the citrus juice to the fish and shrimp and let sit for 5 minutes. Add additional ingredients. Let sit in the refrigerator for at least one hour. Taste for seasonings and serve with tortilla chips, hot sauce, sliced avocados, and extra sliced onion and tomatoes.

Keeps in fridge for 3 days, covered.

This recipe is rated HOLY COW!